Decided against À rebours (which, I guess, sort of is what that book is all about) and decided to re-read Donna Tartt's The secret history instead.
I really enjoy this sentence (and believed for a long time and to some extent still do, the same thing about my life):
"I felt my existence was tainted, in some subtle but essential way."
However, I believe this is a thing that everyone with OCD are prone to feel. Or maybe it's just me and the way I am and it doesn't have anything at all to do with my OCD.